A Bittersweet Reflection

It has been over a month since I have been home and I am just sitting down now to write this reflection.  There are many reasons as to why it has taken me so long to this.  First is because I have been wrapped up in the busy "go, go, go" lifestyle that is the U.S. and all it's technology so I haven't had time. Second: I have been avoiding it.  Writing this means I am closing this chapter of my life and it is really over, none of which I want to bring myself to say, let alone believe.  Third is because I don't know how to compile my experiences and this past year into one last blog entry that will surly not do it all the justice and credit it deserves.  So here I am, trying to write down how I feel and how my transition process has  been but all I can do is get distracted by the music I have playing or by reading journal entries I have written.  None of these methods are helpful or healthy but I really can't think of another way to process it all so I'm going to try to write it out but we'll see how it goes.

Landing in the U.S. on 12/12/12 was an immediate shock: culturally, physically, and emotionally.  My roommates and I manged make it through customs and security, get out bags, and find out bosses who then drove us to Ocean City where we settled in, took showers, and reunited with the Peru AVs who we hadn't seen since we all left in January 2012.  The next couple of days were full of talks and time to process our reentry in attempts to start processing our AV year as well as being back in the U.S.  It was a great to start to this long, emotional process but many times I found myself becoming really emotional and I just had to cry.  Luckily Kellie and many others felt the need to breakdown too so I wasn't alone.  I would remember something about our year or realize we would never be back there together doing that work which would cause the crying.  The breakdowns continued for weeks after and still to this day, my eyes will tear up if I think about Akhona, Pinky, Kaloso, Thabiso, or the view from our house.  I think about the people I met, the places I worked, and especially my community members everyday.

On Saturday December 15th, my parents, Steven, Pop-pop, and Uncle Brian came to the reentry mass and dinner in Philly.  It was awesome to see them again, especially my dad and Steven, who I hadn't seen all year. The mass and dinner were great but I was very disoriented the whole time.  I dreaded saying goodbye to Kellie, Kevin, and Matt which was just as I expected it to be: emotional, hard, and sad.  We had spent the past 11 months growing, serving, and living with each other and now we were leaving each other and going home with our families.  The next three days I spent with my family celebrating Christmas in New Jersey but I was a lot quieter than I normally was.  I think I was still in shock about being home and in a food  coma from eating the exorbitant amount of Italian food my aunt had prepared.  Either way, I made my way through the visits and when I finally made it home to my own room, I was completely overwhelmed and emotionally drained from everything.  I still cried every other day and most nights reliving all of my experiences and missing South Africa and the people so much.  After a few days of attempting to settle into my house and figure out where things were in the kitchen, I decided to purge my clothes, pictures, and anything in my room that was from high school or just not needed.  I filled up five trash bags that I then donated to the local thrift store and homeless shelter.  That was my fresh start and now I was able to unpack and redecorate/organize my room with South Africa things and memories.  My next step was to apply for jobs and get a car which is necessary to have for where I live in the 'Shire.

My life in the U.S. was slowly starting to be put together until someone would ask the dreadful, "how was Africa?" question and I was then forced to give them the appropriate length response based on the setting of where we were.  Unfortunately most of the time I would revert to the simple "It was amazing" response and sometimes throw in a short pitch for Woza Moya if I was wearing a necklace from there or a story about a learner or toddler.  It wasn't until I was at a bar with a few friends from high school that I haven't seen in years and one of them said, "tell me everything about South Africa," that I was finally taken aback.  I looked around and said, "I don't really think this is the place to talk about this" but they replied with, "o whatever, who cares where we are." Then I proceeded to talk to them for over 30 minutes about the Respite Unite, the corrupt education system, the two year old girl who was raped by her uncle, the love of the St. Theresa's boys, and multiple other thoughts and feelings.  They asked few questions but most of the time they just stood there intently listening.  It was at this moment that I finally made the connection between my experiences in South Africa and my hometown of Lebanon, NH.  Ubuntu and every worldly connection you could imagine was right there in Salt Hill Pub.  Since that night, I have been able to talk about various moments with numerous people and use experiences in job interviews.  I will always love and remember my time in South Africa but until I'm there again some day, I will use my gifts to help the people and kids of the Haven at my new job as an Children's Services Associate and Shelter Staff.

The following are life lessons and moments that I will carry with me since my experiences in South Africa.  I want to dedicate this entire blog to the people of South Africa, especially Kellie, Matt, and Kevin, my learners at St. Leo, my toddlers at 1000 Hills, the boys at St. Theresa's, and the patients at the Respite Unit.  Ngiyabonga for everything and Ngiyanithanda!

• UBUNTU
• Life will bring you challenges and road blocks but love will always persevere.
• Zulu's are full of ever lasting love and most importantly, faith.
• You can never have enough hugs from toddlers, or anyone for that matter.
• You are never alone.  Someone is always there to walk with you in your times of struggle.
• People come into your life for a reason.  You need them and they need you.

There are so many more than just these few so I will try to add them as I think of them. For now, thank you all for supporting me, praying for me, and following this blog for my year in South Africa!!

Ubuntu

For the last 11 months, I have experienced the word “community” in several different ways but every time I experience it, I think of the words “love” and “ubuntu”.  Ubuntu is an African word (and way of life) that means a person is a person through another person.  Everyone is interconnected and therefore, forms one massive community that is full of love, acceptance, and solidarity.  Every individual I met this year was full of the ubuntu sprit, from the toddlers to the Gogos and everyone in between.  My three roommates and I have also experienced ubuntu through more ways than I could ever imagine.  We walked with each other the whole year and are leaving South Africa with a love for each other that is incredibly strong and will continue to be with us throughout our lives.  In addition to my AV community, I have experience community in the South Africans I have met and interacted with.  We have been blessed to attend many dinners and parties at co-workers houses all throughout the Valley of 1000 Hills.  During these dinners, we have learned so much about the South African Government, the country, and have heard countless stories from their lives that have truly allowed us to immerse ourselves fully in the culture of South Africa and the ubuntu way of life. 

In addition to these dinners, I was blessed to attend a home church group with about 10 South Africans, both Zulu and white, from around the area.  We sat in a circle in one of the member’s living room and whoever wanted to start singing could.  The songs were both in Zulu and English and were beautiful to be a part of.  The whole evening was a beautiful example of community and love for each other.  Everyone had so much love and faith for God and especially for each other.  At the end of the night, my community members and I sat in the middle of the circle and everyone put their hands on us as they said a prayer for us and gave us their blessing for the rest of our year.  I immediately felt God’s presence surrounding me and ubuntu was everywhere.  This experience came at a time in my year that I needed extra support and guidance and this is exactly where I found it.  This group of people, who I just met when I walked in the door, was part of my community now and their supportive hands and love reached out to me and filled me with ubuntu.  I will always remember this moment as well as the countless other times I felt the love of community and ubuntu throughout my time here in South Africa.  

South African Fun Fact: Yesterday, December 4th, it was 72 degrees and sunny.  Today unfortunately its windy and rainy but that's South African weather for you!

A Thanksgiving to Remember

Back in May, I posted about a little boy Akhona, who was in my toddler room at 1000 Hills but then suddenly wasn't because of family issues.  Ever since I found out what was happening with him and his dad, I made it a goal to find him again before the end of the year and on Thanksgiving, all of my wishes came true! It was an incredible day that I will always remember and cherish for the rest of my life.  

The day started with Fikile, myself, and Akhona's dad Amon, going to the South African Social Security Agency (SASSA) which has social workers on the top floor of the building.  When we got there, Fikile went in to talk to the social worker she knew while Amon and I stayed outside.  I could tell that he was nervous but excited so I decided this was going to be the perfect time to give him the pictures I had of Akhona.  I took these pictures back in February or March and wanted to give them to him before I left.  As soon as I gave him the pictures, a huge smile came on his face and he was shaking because he was so happy.  For a solid 5 minutes, Amon stared at every inch of the pictures making sure he didn't miss anything.  He spoke in Zulu to Akhona in the pictures and would kiss his face.  I managed to hear a few familiar phrases like "Ngiyathanda" I love you or "Baba" which is father but also a common nickname for children.  As he was looking at the pictures, I just stood next to him smiling with him knowing that this little boy means the world to him and he would do anything to get him back.  It was a beautiful moment that could of lasted forever.  When Fikile came back with our next steps, we stood in the queue to register but when we got to the counter, Amon realized he didn't have his ID book with him so we had to go drive to his mom's house to go get it.  After the little hiccup, we were able to go upstairs to see the social worker.  After about 10 mins of waiting in the lobby, a Zulu social worker invited us to come into her office.  When we sat down she asked what language she should speak in and I told her that English was needed for me but to please speak in Zulu for most of it because Amon was the reason we were there.  Then she asked why were there and I told her my side of the story.  I told her that I was a teacher from 1000 HCH and I had met Akhona and his dad in January.  Then when Akhona wasn't coming to school, I wanted to know what was going on so thats when Fikile and I did some investigation to find Amon and bring him here.  Then Amon told his side of the story in Zulu which involved more details about Akhona's mother who is an alcoholic and has left Akhona with the Gogo.  I don't know exactly what he said but he must have been convincing because after he was finished, the social worker filled out some paperwork with personal details and a summary of the incident.  Then she told us that she was going to write a letter that we could bring to the police station in order to remove Akhona from the Gogo's house and give him to Amon.

A side note about this story is that Zulu's are basically computer illiterate which I forgot about until 40 minutes went by and there was still no sign of the social worker.  When I asked another worker passing by, she said that they have trouble with computers and she is probably retyping the letter after her supervisor made some corrections.  Sure enough, our social worker came back 15 minutes later with a 4 sentence letter written in English stating that the child should be removed from the home because the mother's whereabouts are unknown and she is allegedly an alcoholic.  We thanked the social worker immensely and was on our way to get Akhona back.  By the time we got to the police station it was 11:45am and Fikile and I had to go back to work help with lunch/nap time.  The van with the police escort was going to take a while so we left Amon at the police station and told us to call us as soon as he was at the Gogo's house with the police.  About an hour later, we called to ask where he was and in the 2 minute conversation he had with Fikile, he said that they were at the Gogo's house but Gogo was screaming at Amon and the police about taking Akhona.  I instantly got a pit in my stomach and thought it wasn't going to work out after all of our hard work.  I said a little prayer that everything would work out and I continued playing with the kids before they went home.

About 20 minutes later, Fikile got a call from Amon saying that he was ready to be picked up at the police station but didn't mention if he had Akhona or not.  So I left 1000 Hills and started driving to the Mpumalanga police station and on the way there, Amon called me and said, "Akhona is with me, can you please fetch us?"  I told him I was on my way and an instant sigh of relief came over me.  As I drove up to the shops by the police station, I saw Amon jumping up and down with Akhona in his arms and the biggest smile I have ever seen on his face! I parked the car and got out to greet them.  Amon immediately ran up to me smiling and hugged me and kissed Akhona.  Then he kissed me on the cheek in excitement and we the three of us had a group hug right in the middle of the street.  It was an incredibly beautiful and touching moment that I will always remember.  After 6 months of not seeing his son, this awesome father (who happens to be exactly my age) was reunited with his son with the help of Fikile and I and what an amazing moment it was.  After the group hug, we got in my car with Akhona on Amon's lap (in the front seat with no car seat because that's how all of the kids ride in cars around here, on someones lap or in the back seat by themselves) and we drove to Amon's sisters house which happened to be where we went looking for Akhona back in June.  As I walked into the house behind Amon, the little girl at the door shouted "Umlungu!" which means white person in Zulu.  I was instantly welcomed into their small, one bedroom home with big smiles from both the three kids and the sister.  We sat down and Amon told his sister about how they got Akhona back and how happy he was to have him back.  The sister thanked me for helping and continued to smile at me and Akhona.  It was another beautiful moment to see how Amon showed off his son and how his sister was so happy for her brother.  

Then I drove them to his house in Inchanga and the whole way Akhona was pointing at things and saying different Zulu words and phrases.  Amon kept saying, "I am happy too much" (I am so happy) and kissing his son.  Akhona is about 6 inches taller than I remember him to be and is fatter but is also potty trained and talking more which is great to see.  I dropped them off at their house and gave Akhona a container of orange Play Dough that he loved playing with in school.  Amon's dad said thank you about 10 more times and said he was going to come to the center on Tuesday to enroll Akhona back in school.  I was more than happy to do all of this and drove away with a huge smile on my face knowing that this father and son were reunited and were both so happy.  When I first met Amon and saw how much he loved his son, I knew that he was a great parent and would take full responsibility for raising this adorable 2 year old boy.  I am so blessed and touched that I was able to be part of this experience and especially thankful that this happened before I leave to go home.  I know Amon will be an amazing dad and I hope Akhona can come to school for the last few weeks while I'm still there.  If not, I'm sure I will see him again to take pictures with him before I leave.  Please continue to pray for Amon and Akhona for their safety and well-being.  If possible, Amon is going to get sole custody of Akhona but this will be a long process that will take much longer than a couple of weeks.    Even though the whole process was long, everything was worth it in the end because Akhona and his dad are reunited and I am incredibly thankful for that and for them!

South African Fact: 60% of the families in South Africa are single parent families.  Usually they are single mothers but Amon is the exception and is going to be a great father and role model for Akhona.  Also 40% of South African families are child-headed households meaning the older children are responsible for the younger kids and the house which means they most likely aren't going to school.  

A Trip to the Farm (also a late October post)

As I've probably mentioned in previous posts, we have made some incredible friends since we have been here including coworkers.  One of the families/couples we have grown close to is Louise and Stephen who have two older sons and a daughter, Alice.  Louise works with Kellie and Kevin at the Hillcrest AIDS Center and is always graciously having us over for dinner and Sunday lunches.  Louise's family also owns a farm in the Underberg area which is about a 3 hour drive from our house.  A couple weekends ago Louise and Stephen invited us to the farm and it was a blast.  We got there around 7pm on Friday night and met Louise's aunt and uncle, Lynn and Stigg, where were supper nice and happy to have us.  We chatted for a bit and then had a delicious dinner of mince and venison lasagna with salad and bread which all came from their farm and was amazing.  After dinner, Stephen drove us to our cabin where we stayed which was right on the dam.  The drive was only about 10 minutes in the dark but on the way we saw a dika, some cattle, and a huge, crazy flock of sheep that were standing right in the middle of the road while we were trying to go by.  Stephen was an excellent driver and was able to maneuver his way around them without hitting them but we can very close at times!  The flock finally moved a way but then ran next to the car as we drove away. Needless to say, it was quite the adventure just to get to the cottage.  

The cottage we were staying at was small and adorable with no electricity and water that was heated up by a fire stove and donkey at the back of the house.  There were two bedrooms downstairs and a loft upstairs.  It was a beautiful view to wake up to the dam on Saturday morning and I was able walk around, explore the boat house and see 4 donkeys close by.  On our way back to the main house, we stopped to look at blue crane and crown cranes which hadn't been on the farm for over 50 years!! At the house we worked on an African puzzle which took forever and was really hard until lunch which was another delicious meal.  Stigg, Steve, Kellie, and Kevin went to a local bar to watch the Sharks rugby match while I stayed back to work on the puzzle.  Lynn suggested we go for a walk so we went for a walk around a small part of the 3,000 acre beautiful farm.  It was so nice to hear stories from Lynn about how they got the farm, the trees that Stigg's grandfather all planted years ago, and how Louise loved to go there when she was a little girl.  I found a porcupine quill on the walk which I brought home with me.  Since we had such a big lunch we had really good bread dipped in pesto, roasted peppers, sun dried tomatoes, and olive oil with an Egyptian spice mix that Lynn made.  Everything was delicious of course.  After dinner we chatted for a little bit and then I drove Stigg's car back to the cabin.  We had a small run in with the sheep but I hooted and they moved out of the way pretty quickly.  It was eerie to see the darkness of the dam/farm at night but it was a cool drive.  We played a couple rounds of taboo and sat by the fire before going to bed.

Sunday we got up and went to see ancient bush paintings that were in caves on top of a hill on their farm.  We started walking towards the hill but then Steve and Stigg came with the bakkie (pick up truck) and gave us a ride all the way up the hills and mountains which would of been a nice hike if the weather was better.  The paintings were really cool and Stigg thinks they have been their for over 200 years.  When we were up in the caves, we saw a bearded eagle which was a rare sighting.  Then when we were walking back to the bakkie, it started to rain and we got stuck in a downpour and got soaked when we were standing in the truck.  When we got back, we changed, went to the main house for lunch, and then drove home.  It was a great relaxing weekend on a beautiful farm with lovely people.  I will try to post pictures soon!

South African Fact: Recently, South Africa redesigned their currency which now has brighter colors and Nelson Mandela on all of them.

Embracing a Change

As you have probably noticed from my blog, the toddler room at 1000 HCH has been my pride and joy for this year.  I have obviously loved my other two service sites as well but these toddlers have touched my heart in a special way.  All year we, the teachers and I, have worked hard to pay extra attention to the child development of these precious toddlers by establishing a routine and schedule.  Just as we were starting to master the routine of seated activities and a daily schedule, there was a big change at the center and everything was turned upside down. Ok so that might be a bit of an exaggeration but after working so hard for many months on something and then to have it change in one day, my head felt like it was spinning!  

This all happened the day the assistant director of the AVs, Hannah, was visiting 1000 HCH for the first time.  When we arrived at the center in the morning, Dawn, all of the toddler 1 kids, toddler 1 teachers, and all the toddler 2 kids and teachers were all in the toddler 2 room.  Needless to say, it was complete chaos (yes more than normal) and I had no idea what was going on.  I introduced Dawn to Hannah who then explained that they were moving everything around to make another office in the school.  Basically the baby room is now in toddler 1 room and the two toddler rooms are combined into ours.  With the combination, there were about 80 toddlers in the toddler 2 room which was insane so the oldest toddler,s who were potty trained, were moved to the school.  The teachers have also been all switched around so Fikile is now in the baby room and the toddler 1 teachers are now in our toddler room.  The toddler 1 teachers speak more English than the other ones did which is nice and will be helpful but their kids are really young and don’t even know how to stand in a line or sit nicely at a table and do puzzles.  But who am I kidding?  My toddlers barely knew how to do that before! 

The worst part about the whole change is that my favorite toddlers, the ones that knew the most and understood me the best, were the ones that went to the school.  Lindo, Luleka, Andiswa, Samkelo, and Slindile are all grown up and off to the school.  The kids who I worked so hard teaching how to count, do puzzles, and sing head, shoulders, chest and waist all in English are no longer in my room.  I am happy for them that they are in the school but it’s disappointing because the teachers in the school are just ok but sometimes are really lazy and only have the fire lite under them on Wednesdays when Julie is there to watch them.  Luckily, the school is only across the playground so I still see the kids everyday.  One of my favorite moments over the past few weeks was when I had my back to the school and I was wiping of the bikes for the kids to play on, when I felt a toddler hugging my legs.  I turned around to find Lindo squeezing my legs with the biggest smile on his face!  Every day he comes and gives me a hug which makes me feel great.  When these kids went to the school, I was so afraid they would forget me but they haven't and I am so thankful for that!

As far as the new toddler room goes, the kids are really young and I don't know most of their names but they are adorable and all have unique personalities.  It's going to be harder to teach them songs, colors, and counting but I have tried to keep an open mind and embrace this new challenge! I mean how can you not love those adorable, messy, little bundles of joy? This is new change comes only a few months before I leave 1000 HCH for the year but its what I have been called to do, so here goes nothing!

South African Fact:  Today at the center, Riaan Manser, who was the first man to cycle around Africa,  has teamed up with KFC Add Hope and is cycling 4100km across the country to spread the message of hope came to the center to film the kids and give out food to the community.

Tembe Elephant Park

After 8 months of living and working in South Africa, we have finally been on a safari and it was amazing! Last Friday we drove 5.5 hours north to Tembe Elephant Park which is on the border of Mozambique.  It was really hot when we got there and we had to take a 4x4 safari truck to the camping/lodge area after parking our car.  We were greeted by wonderful staff members who sang for us and carried our bags to our tents which had 4 beds, a toilet, and a shower.  We weren't exactly roughing it over the weekend!  After settling in we had a delicious lasagna lunch before going out on our first game drive.  Carlos was our guide/driver who was extremely knowledgeable and quite entertaining.  In our truck were three other people, two from Joberg and one ironically enough from Kloof.  The lady from Kloof was hilarious the whole weekend and made teased me when I misidentified a tree as a giraffe but I made up for it by spotting a huge elephant right in front of our truck when we came around a corner.  It was so exciting to see our first elephant that close to the truck and we acted like little kids again smiling and snapping photos.  After the elephant we saw tons of impala and nyala, which are both like deer and got rather boring after a while, giraffes in the distance and a mongoose.  Carlos told us about lala (sleep in Zulu) palms which have liquid in their branches that can turn into wine.  Apparently the elephants love to eat/drink them before they fall asleep/pass out!  After the game drive, we had dinner where our tables were decorated with flags from the countries people were from on them.  Most of them were South Africa but ours was the USA of course and there was one other one that we didn't know.  For dinner we had warthog, chicken, and veggies which was all delicious in addition to butternut squash soup and dessert.  

On Saturday we got up really early and had a light breakfast before going out on our morning game drive where we saw a bunch more impala and nyala.  We also saw giraffe, rhino, leopard, and elephant footprints which were interesting to see.  We stopped for coffee and tea where we could see the border of Mozambique in the distance.  We then left for the second part of the morning drive which was awesome because we saw 2 lion really close to our truck (one which yawned and I got a picture of it) and a herd of elephant who were playing in the lala palms.  They were ripping them down and eating them right near us.  There were young ones and adults which made for great pictures.  We spent an extra hour watching the elephants in addition to seeing African water buffalo take a mud bath.  We drove back, had breakfast, and relaxed until lunch and our evening game drive.  During the night drive we saw some zebra, which our boss Hannah was really excited about, and some birds and trees that the other people in our truck were excited about but not us.  We took some group pictures at the sunset and saw an elephant that our guide Carlos said was in heat because he could smell it from a distance which was pretty amazing.  For dinner we had broccoli soup, impala, chicken, and veggies which was again delicious.  

It rained overnight which made us think that we weren't going to be able to see any animals or go out the next morning but we were able to see some like a herd of elephant in the distance.  It rained for a little bit on the ride but it stopped after a couple of minutes which we were happy about.  On our way back, we saw a bunch of giraffes up close which was really cool.  We also saw a suni which is a really rare/small antelope.  After eating breakfast and packing up, we drove back to our car and saw warthog which we hadn't seen before.  It was an awesome weekend and even though we didn't get to see any rhino, we saw a ton of elephant and most everything else!  

Elephant Fact: Tembe is home of 3 out of the 40 tuskers in Africa.  Tuskers are HUGE elephant whose one tusk weighs 50 kg (110lbs).  Unfortunately we didn't see any of these three but we did see some massive Dumbos!!

The Beautiful Contrast between Life and Death

Before I start this post I want to apologize for not posting the whole month of August.  It was a crazy month of visitors and busy schedules so I apologize for not updating you on my life here in South Africa.  I have made it a goal to get back into blogging for the last few months I have here and will be posting a minimum of two posts per month for the rest of the year.  

As sometimes happens in our community, someone will have a great day, like I did teaching on Monday, but when you come home, you find out that someone had a hard day which was the case for Kellie and Kevin.  After telling them about my great day at Leo's, they told me that Israel, one of their AIDS patients that I had talked with and met, was dying.  Kellie said that I should go say goodbye to him on Tuesday morning when I dropped her off at work.  Kellie and Kevin spent the day saying goodbye to him which was emotional to say the least so I prepared myself to do the same the next morning.

Tuesday morning I got up and thought about what I was going to say to Israel.  Kellie and I drove down Botha's Hill to the Respite unit but on the way there, Kellie got a text message from her boss saying Israel had passed away.  The rest of the car ride was silent until we pulled into the driveway and I asked if I could come in and say something outside of his room.  When we walked into the unit, his body had already been moved out of his room and into the chapel.  Kellie and I went into the chapel and saw Israel's body wrapped in a sheet on the gurney.  I immediately teared up knowing that the person under the sheet was someone I knew and talked with just a couple of weeks earlier.  After a moment of silence I was able to speak to him through my tears.  I told him that I was happy to have known him and be a part of his life even though it was very brief.  I ensured him that he would be missed by me, his family, and his friends.  I told him to go well and remember that he is loved.  I told him to watch over his wife and kids from heaven.  I then prayed to Go that He would embrace him with love and compassion into his Kingdom.  It was a powerful experience saying these words and praying over Israel knowing that a friend just lost the battle with AIDS.  The room felt empty knowing that he was no longer with us but also full of love and comfort from Kellie and God who were there to help me grieve and remember Israel.  

When I met Israel in June at the Respite Center, he spoke English and told me all about his life.  He told me that he was from Zimbabwe, he's a twin, and he had been in South Africa for 5 years.  He has a wife and two sons who are in South Africa with him.  He asked me to pray for his legs to get better and for Zimbabwe as a country.  Israel also told me that he worked at the 1000 Hills Craft Village right up the road from our house and I told him I would come visit him when he got better and went back to work.  I remember enjoying our conversation and being happy to talk with and get to know my first patient at the Respite unit.  I had visited the center many other times and met patients briefly but Israel was the first patient I really got to know and spend time with even though it was brief.  Throughout the next couple of months at Respite, I saw Israel a couple of times but always heard how he was doing and updates from Kellie and Kevin. A couple of weeks ago, Israel had been moved to a private room because he wasn't doing well; his TB had become worse and the nurses didn't want him affecting other patients.  I didn't see him in the private room which I regret now but I continued to pray for him, his health, and his family.  The day before Israel died Kellie found out that his wife was struggling to forgive him for the lifestyle he chose and the effects his decline in health had on him and his family.  The decline in his health was the reason the wife needed to be around to help with appointments and treatments and the reason he was sick was because of the lifestyle he chose that she didn't agree with.  His wife struggled to forgive him with all he had put her through and the pain he caused her but also knowing that she still loved him and cared about him.  No one knows whether the forgiveness came but I pray and hope that both of them had peace for his passing.  

Our conversations that one day were brief but meaningful because that is what I remember about Israel and believe that is how he wanted to be remembered instead of his sick and unhealthy last moments.  I remember him talking so fondly of his wife and kids and how hopeful he was that he was going to get better and go back to work.  I remember him talking about his beautiful country Zimbabwe and how he missed it but was happy to be in South Africa.  It was hard for me to say goodbye to Israel on Tuesday but I hope that he heard what I said and he knows how much I cared about him even if our friendship was brief.  Even though he is gone, I know that he is in a happier place now and his struggle and suffering over.  

After an emotional morning, it was difficult to go to 1000 Hills and put on a happy face for the kids but I knew it is what I had to do.  I spent the drive to Inchanga reflecting and praying.  As I pulled into the center, I tried to put on a smile and wave to everyone but I was still sad and grieving.  Then when I walked into the classroom, I was immediately greeted by smiling, happy toddlers who were full of life and happy to see me.  I immediately smiled and saw the direct contrast between life and death.  Life of these toddlers was beautiful and happy while the death and suffering of Israel was sad and emotional but I am blessed to experience both in this powerful contrast.  As I walked into the classroom and said hello to the toddlers, I reflected on the life of these kids and the death of so many AIDS patients.  I thought about all of the kids at 1000 Hills and in the Valley that don't have their parents or their father because they have died.  Why are there so many of these kids without parents in South Africa and around the world?  Why is AIDS so prevalent in the KwaZulu-Natal province?  These are questions we ask ourselves everyday but everyday there is so much joy and life around us in the kids that we interact with and the people we meet.  The toddlers and learners who come to school everyday may have numerous struggles at home but when they come to school they should be able to play, laugh, and be loved by everyone around them.  I pray that the sickness and sadness around the world will end but until it does, we must focus on happiness and liveliness of children and the joy they bring to the world.  We must fight for a better world free from sickness and sadness but also for better education and support for our children. 

The beautiful contrast between life and death surround us in South Africa every day.  There are thousands of people dying of AIDS but thousands of kids that are running around the schools happy as can be.  Life and death is a reality we all face everyday but I encourage you all to embrace them both.  Remember and love our friends and family who have died or will die and embrace and cherish the people in your life who are alive.  Take time to reflect upon this reality and know that this contrast is hard at times but beautiful at others.

South African Fact: The province of KwaZulu-Natal has the highest rate of HIV in South Africa but the rate of HIV/AIDS has declined in the past 4 years in South Africa and is continuing to decline.