The Beautiful Contrast between Life and Death

Before I start this post I want to apologize for not posting the whole month of August.  It was a crazy month of visitors and busy schedules so I apologize for not updating you on my life here in South Africa.  I have made it a goal to get back into blogging for the last few months I have here and will be posting a minimum of two posts per month for the rest of the year.  

As sometimes happens in our community, someone will have a great day, like I did teaching on Monday, but when you come home, you find out that someone had a hard day which was the case for Kellie and Kevin.  After telling them about my great day at Leo's, they told me that Israel, one of their AIDS patients that I had talked with and met, was dying.  Kellie said that I should go say goodbye to him on Tuesday morning when I dropped her off at work.  Kellie and Kevin spent the day saying goodbye to him which was emotional to say the least so I prepared myself to do the same the next morning.

Tuesday morning I got up and thought about what I was going to say to Israel.  Kellie and I drove down Botha's Hill to the Respite unit but on the way there, Kellie got a text message from her boss saying Israel had passed away.  The rest of the car ride was silent until we pulled into the driveway and I asked if I could come in and say something outside of his room.  When we walked into the unit, his body had already been moved out of his room and into the chapel.  Kellie and I went into the chapel and saw Israel's body wrapped in a sheet on the gurney.  I immediately teared up knowing that the person under the sheet was someone I knew and talked with just a couple of weeks earlier.  After a moment of silence I was able to speak to him through my tears.  I told him that I was happy to have known him and be a part of his life even though it was very brief.  I ensured him that he would be missed by me, his family, and his friends.  I told him to go well and remember that he is loved.  I told him to watch over his wife and kids from heaven.  I then prayed to Go that He would embrace him with love and compassion into his Kingdom.  It was a powerful experience saying these words and praying over Israel knowing that a friend just lost the battle with AIDS.  The room felt empty knowing that he was no longer with us but also full of love and comfort from Kellie and God who were there to help me grieve and remember Israel.  

When I met Israel in June at the Respite Center, he spoke English and told me all about his life.  He told me that he was from Zimbabwe, he's a twin, and he had been in South Africa for 5 years.  He has a wife and two sons who are in South Africa with him.  He asked me to pray for his legs to get better and for Zimbabwe as a country.  Israel also told me that he worked at the 1000 Hills Craft Village right up the road from our house and I told him I would come visit him when he got better and went back to work.  I remember enjoying our conversation and being happy to talk with and get to know my first patient at the Respite unit.  I had visited the center many other times and met patients briefly but Israel was the first patient I really got to know and spend time with even though it was brief.  Throughout the next couple of months at Respite, I saw Israel a couple of times but always heard how he was doing and updates from Kellie and Kevin. A couple of weeks ago, Israel had been moved to a private room because he wasn't doing well; his TB had become worse and the nurses didn't want him affecting other patients.  I didn't see him in the private room which I regret now but I continued to pray for him, his health, and his family.  The day before Israel died Kellie found out that his wife was struggling to forgive him for the lifestyle he chose and the effects his decline in health had on him and his family.  The decline in his health was the reason the wife needed to be around to help with appointments and treatments and the reason he was sick was because of the lifestyle he chose that she didn't agree with.  His wife struggled to forgive him with all he had put her through and the pain he caused her but also knowing that she still loved him and cared about him.  No one knows whether the forgiveness came but I pray and hope that both of them had peace for his passing.  

Our conversations that one day were brief but meaningful because that is what I remember about Israel and believe that is how he wanted to be remembered instead of his sick and unhealthy last moments.  I remember him talking so fondly of his wife and kids and how hopeful he was that he was going to get better and go back to work.  I remember him talking about his beautiful country Zimbabwe and how he missed it but was happy to be in South Africa.  It was hard for me to say goodbye to Israel on Tuesday but I hope that he heard what I said and he knows how much I cared about him even if our friendship was brief.  Even though he is gone, I know that he is in a happier place now and his struggle and suffering over.  

After an emotional morning, it was difficult to go to 1000 Hills and put on a happy face for the kids but I knew it is what I had to do.  I spent the drive to Inchanga reflecting and praying.  As I pulled into the center, I tried to put on a smile and wave to everyone but I was still sad and grieving.  Then when I walked into the classroom, I was immediately greeted by smiling, happy toddlers who were full of life and happy to see me.  I immediately smiled and saw the direct contrast between life and death.  Life of these toddlers was beautiful and happy while the death and suffering of Israel was sad and emotional but I am blessed to experience both in this powerful contrast.  As I walked into the classroom and said hello to the toddlers, I reflected on the life of these kids and the death of so many AIDS patients.  I thought about all of the kids at 1000 Hills and in the Valley that don't have their parents or their father because they have died.  Why are there so many of these kids without parents in South Africa and around the world?  Why is AIDS so prevalent in the KwaZulu-Natal province?  These are questions we ask ourselves everyday but everyday there is so much joy and life around us in the kids that we interact with and the people we meet.  The toddlers and learners who come to school everyday may have numerous struggles at home but when they come to school they should be able to play, laugh, and be loved by everyone around them.  I pray that the sickness and sadness around the world will end but until it does, we must focus on happiness and liveliness of children and the joy they bring to the world.  We must fight for a better world free from sickness and sadness but also for better education and support for our children. 

The beautiful contrast between life and death surround us in South Africa every day.  There are thousands of people dying of AIDS but thousands of kids that are running around the schools happy as can be.  Life and death is a reality we all face everyday but I encourage you all to embrace them both.  Remember and love our friends and family who have died or will die and embrace and cherish the people in your life who are alive.  Take time to reflect upon this reality and know that this contrast is hard at times but beautiful at others.

South African Fact: The province of KwaZulu-Natal has the highest rate of HIV in South Africa but the rate of HIV/AIDS has declined in the past 4 years in South Africa and is continuing to decline.